ive watched this video 6 times.
wow my first scrapbook page! yay!
this month has been very polarizing. its been a lot of fun, but oh boy i sure have been depressed as shit the entire time! i went out with friends on two seperate occassions, we went shopping and got food and played card games. i got to see holy locust perform live with my gf!! i met the band, and got an autograph!
my mental state during all of this has been not great, but i did get a new therapist who seems helpful + upped my medication dose so that might help. im currently super stressed out about getting my drivers liscense and my GED, neither of which seem attainable at all right now. ive spent most days this month laying in my bed doing nothing (i didnt even program for most of it) which i would say is unproductive, but there really isnt anything more productive i could be doing. everything is frozen in place. it sucks. also my discord account got suspended so thats great /sarcasm
hoping things get better soon. im tired of being sad and feeling hopeless all the time. 
my adventures
yeah i have a little bit of a 8485 addiction... dont worry ill be back to CSH in no time!
And eventually, she realized that the thing stalking her in her home was not her
husband having come back wrong. It was not a creature of the dark either. It was her
own feelings and the knife was her grief.
And when she realized this, she stopped leaving flowers on his grave every day and
began to go there every month. And eventually, the house was just a house and she
began to sleep all by herself.
The tap against the window was nothing but the apple
tree's branches, the breeze that made the curtains flutter nothing but a draft. Time heals
all wounds and slays all demons.
And with time, she began to miss the haunt, for the
beating of her heart when she had thought a deadman's fingers were tapping against the
window was the same as when she heard her husband's footsteps in the hallway after a
long day of work.
Lord she prayed after a year. Let me be haunted all you want, but let me be haunted by
him.
But there was no ghost. There never had been. There had only been love and what it had
left behind."
- "Sarah" by madphantom on tumblr. read the full novela HERE
sad. i felt hopeless constantly, even when i was having fun it was always nagging me.
WHAT AM I PROUDEST OF?i made a big kandi rotator cuff
WHAT DO I WISH I HAD DONE DIFFERENTLY?actually enjoyed all the fun opportunities i had
HOW AM I CURRENTLY FEELING ABOUT THE FUTURE?bad. i have to get a drivers liscense to even think about starting working on my GED. im gonna be behind forever.
DID I LEARN ANYTHING NEW?no
WHAT ARE MY GOALS FOR NEXT MONTH?- go outside
- follow my therpists advice and make small daily goals
- better hygeine